WOW. After saying he would never change the team name, team owner Dan Snyder announced he is retiring the team name Redskins for a name that they will come up with at a later date. Washington NFL team
Since they need to come up with something new, I thought I would help out. Below are some alternate names for the team that won’t upset the cancel culture (maybe). The Washington football team is free to use any of the names below without paying us a cent (although if they wanted to offer us prime game tickets, we wouldn’t object):
- Something timely? How about the Washington “Russia, Russia. Russia,” “the COVID-11,” or the “Statue Slammers?” Here’s an idea that’s not only timely, but it also relates to football, “The Facemasks,” Other timely ones could be the “Mount Rush-mores,” “the Party Elites” or the “Socialist Sackers”
- From a New Yorker? How about “Thank God We’re Not The NY Jets “? OK, it’s a bit long, but sadly, it’s a chant that should be heard in every NFL stadium. Speaking about N.Y. —they could call the team the “Cuomo Granny Killers” or DeBlasio’s Dumb Dumbs.”
- Personally, I would really like it if they called the team the Yids with Lids: Yes, my nickname Yidwithlid is a pejorative term for Jooooos. That’s why it was chosen–as a “screw you” to anti-Semites (hey if I think Redskins is OK…). If they like the Jewish theme but want to make Jesse Jackson happy, they could call the team “The Hymies.”
- Many pro-football teams have animal names, like the Dolphins, Jaguars, Cougars, and Ravens. How about an animal associated with Washington D.C., such as “The Lame Ducks “?
- Something Jewish? The Washington Foreskins. It would save money. All they would have to do is draw long curly sideburns and paint black hats on the native American image they are already using;
- Washington D.C. is the seat of the federal government; other teams have taken their names from governmental institutions, such as the former baseball team, the Senators. Football is a sport with large menacing athletes, so perhaps they could adopt the name “The Bloated Bureaucracy” or “The Deep Staters.”
- The team could take on a name related to the political class, like “The Hacks,” “The Swamp Things,” or “The News Spinners.” To make the liberals happy, Snyder could rename the team after Rep Maxine Waters, the “Mad Men,” Chuck Schumer, the “Obstructors,” which sounds like a good football name. If they want to kiss up to Pelosi, the Redskins can become the “Collagen Injections.” They could even name the for Schumer and Pelosi’s favorite Congressmen, “The Schiffhead Impeachers,” the “Lying Schiffheads, or “Nadler’s Stomach Staples.” My good friend Ed Morrissey who writes at Hot Air suggested the Capitol Shills, which works because every DC resident who works for the federal government will believe the team was named after them.
- Tampa Bay has the Buccaneers, Oakland has the Raiders, so I thought Washington could have “The Stealers,” but that won’t work because it’s too close to the Pittsburgh team. But how about “The High Taxers, “” The Redistributors,” or even “The IRS Hit-Squad?”
- How about taking a number? After all, the 49ers have a long history of winning football. Why not call the team the “Washington 26 Trillion,” after the national debt? Nah, that won’t work because then the team will have to change what they are called every few weeks.
- There are several teams with the name of an occupation associated with the city like the Cowboys is with Dallas. Using that method, the football team could even name itself “The Fake News,” “The Friday News Dumps,” “The Influential Lobbyists” or even the “Super Pacs.”
- Here’s a suggestion I got from a reader who really wanted to piss off the cancel culture, the “President Trumps,” or the “Good Orange Men.”
All of these names would be interesting and effective, I hope the team gives them consideration. Also, I believe that my favorite team, the Jets should change their name to be more accurate. Generally, when playing a big game my team has a lead in the third quarter. But then they blow it. I recommend they change their name to “Same Old Jets” or “Why Does God Mess With Our Fans Heads?”
Washington NFL team