Talking about politics during any extended family dinner may spoil your family meal. But for some reason talking about politics during the Thanksgiving meal results in more family fights than other holiday meals. To help you survive your Thanksgiving meal, below I remind you of the top ten reasons to avoid talking about politics at Thanksgiving dinner, even if you are a political geek like me:
- What are you nuts? Do you really want to fight with half of your family until next Thanksgiving? Or even worse, do you want to be left out of ALL future family occasions, including holiday dinners, family reunions, weddings, bar mitzvahs, etc.?
- Don’t talk about politics even if you think everyone agrees with your political positions unless you want your family to curse the day you were born.
- Let’s go, Brandon is not a proper Thanksgiving declaration unless you want your relatives to substitute your name for Brandon.
- If you talk politics, even the friendly family dog will bite you.
- Even if you bring up a liberal political position, you will be banned by Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Additionally, the woke-cancel culture people will hate you and call you a racist, even though dementia Joe Biden will ask, “what’s Thanksgiving?
- The force will not be with you, and the ghost of Leonard Nimoy will appear at half-time of the second NFL game. The late Mr. Spock will say your name and remind you, “that’s not logical.
- Young children do not understand subtle political differences. However, should you begin talking about politics, the resulting family fight will affect their tiny brains. Then when they are in their thirties, in jail, and need to have therapy three times a day, they will point to your political family fight as what led them to madness.
- Talking about Mark Sanchez’s butt fumble will make your family laugh. Talk about Biden’s border, energy, and other Biden/Harris fumbles that will make your family fight.
- Hanukkah is three days after Thanksgiving, Christmas is one month after Turkey day. A political discussion starting a family fight will lead to no one, Jewish or Christian, getting a present.
- If you bring up politics during Thanksgiving dinner, the below will be the featured balloon in next year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. The balloon will be attached to a banner with your name and what you did to ruin Thanksgiving.
If you still feel you must discuss politics on Thanksgiving, my friend and sometimes Lid contributor, Ari Kaufman will give you advice: Thanksgiving: How to Discuss Politics — If You Must