Rather than fight with the uncle, we would like to have a peaceful Thanksgiving, take a quick tryptophan nap, watch football, drink beer, and feast on a delicious dinner that includes turkey and every carbohydrate side dish known to humanity.
Who knows, we might have a repeat of NY Jets QB Mark Sanchez’s record-breaking move of fumbling a football into his lineman’s butt or even a funnier football move.
However, while the rest of us are enjoying two football games, this guy is teaching the rest of us the reason God created the middle finger.
How do we keep Thanksgiving from being spoiled by this nasty man? You must be careful. Because if he wasn’t so full of shit, he would deflate. Here are some of the ideas to calm down that nasty man and make your Thanksgiving pleasant:
Get an electrician because his brain is not wired correctly.
Go to your nearest Walmart and buy a can of “Full of Shit” spray. Apply liberally.
Cover his mouth with duct tape. It won’t fix his stupidity, but it will muffle the sound.
Lock him in a room with a pigeon. Sooner or later, it will crap on his head.
If he is behind you, fart.
He turned green, and a house dropped on him.
Whatever you do, don’t agree with him, and then you both would be stupid.
Oh, and one more thing.
Have A Very Happy Thanksgiving
