When I was a kid, the only time I was allowed to say “bad words” was when I was tattling on someone else (usually my older brother or sister), such as “Mommy Paul said F**K.” These days it has become easier to tattle, the bad curse word simply became a letter, the “F” word.

Somewhere around the OJ trial, that horrible word nigger became the “N” word, and unless it is being used in by an African American comedian, it gets bleeped out when someone says it on TV or radio. On those crazy Mel Gibson tapes that have been unearthed during the past few weeks every other word is bleeped out because of his liberal use of the “F” and “N” words.

Some people believe that things have gone too far, this “F” and “N” word business an example political correctness gone too far. I say nay, nay we have not gone far enough.

“F” and “N” are only two of the 26 letters in the alphabet, what about the other 24 letters, let’s face it they must be feeling left out. So in honor of a society where some people say the scientific term “black hole” is racist, allow me to suggest it would be helpful to have a guide to all 26 letters of the alphabet. So after some consultation with the President’s word Czar NY Times Columnist Frank Rich, these are the words that we will no longer be able to say completely we will only be able to describe by letter:

  • A” Word- Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Obama is going to give him one more chance (again).
  • B” Word- B*tch, as in Barbara “don’t call me Ma’am call me Senator” Boxer.
  • C” Word- Cuts, as in Tax Cuts or Budget Cuts. To the progressive Democrats who now run the United States, these words are worse than the “N” or the “F” words.
  • D” Word- Drilling as in looking for domestic oil on US territory.
  • E” Word- Earnings, things that big businesses are no longer allowed to have.
  • F” Word- Still the traditional F**K. Some people used it when  Barney Frank was called Fa*g**, but I can’t understand what is wrong with calling Congressman Frank a Fat Guy.
  • G” Word- Glenn Beck, the Administration’s public enemy #1.
  • H” Word- Hussein,  (you know who’s middle name) as in the Israelis hate me because of my middle name.
  • “I” Word- Israel (The old name for the new nation of Palestine if the POTUS gets way).
  • J” Word- Jon Voight. The President has a Jon Voight Vodoo doll on his desk.
  • K” Word- No not Kike, nobody cares about anti-Semites.  Look at all the respect and TV Time Jew haters such as Al Sharpton, Pat Buchanan and representatives of CAIR receive.
  • L” Word-Black Liberation Theology, What Reverend Wright taught Obama, “To Be Saved, white folks have to give up some of their stuff.” (Maybe I can give them some of  my progressive relatives and we can call it even)
  • M” Word- Marines,  Code Pink founder and Barak Obama fundraiser Jodie Evans says they are evil, so did the Late John Murtha.
  • N” Word-Nigger The “traditional” definition.
  • O” Word- Oil, You bad Americans must be weaned off the stuff.
  • P” Word- Pride, its what Michelle Obama  finally feels for America.
  • Q” Word- Qur’an a Book that terrorists never read, nor have they ever heard of because we aren’t fighting Islamic terrorists.
  • R” Word-Rocky or Rambo. If Sylvester Stallone makes one more Rocky or Rambo movie he should be water boarded
  • S” Word-Socialist. Sure he ran for State Senate on Socialist party lines, but the President was just joking about redistribution of income and social justice.
  • T” Word-Tea Party. Anybody that calls for fiscal responsibility is not a good American.
  • U” Word-Under God, a term we aren’t supposed to use anymore.
  • V” Word-Vampire. If they make one more vampire movie or TV show, I am going to cut my own veins.
  • W” Word-Word, Sure Nancy Pelosi said it was a her favorite word, but lets not remind people of her dumb choice.
  • X” Word-Xenophobia, The Obama administration says we cant say anything bad about Islamist terrorists
  • Y” Word-You Tube. How does You Tube come up with videos of each Obama appointee showing their radical past? This is why Obama wants to control the internet.
  • Z” Word- Zealot. What the progressive/Democrats call any person who has attended a religious service more than once in a particular year. Most Zealots live in rural America and cling to their guns.
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There you have it America, start learning them now, because according nobody wants to unite the country more than our President, Barack H*****N  Obama.  The President promised that he will bring the country together; there is nothing that will bring the country together more than using the 26 terms above in all 57 states.

Now some of you may say, this is totally wrong, the Federal Government should not interfere with communications, they should stay away from what goes into or comes out of our mouths.  It’s a matter of personal freedom. To them I say,  how different is this 26 letter substitution plan, than Obama’s Net Neutrality?  If government can tell us what we can put into our mouths, like salt or sugared soda, isn’t the next logical step for government to tell us what can come out of our mouths?