The Washington Post is warning all you rubes out there that you need to stop using hot water because we need to save the earth… or something.

That’s right, folks, you low down, rabble need to stop valuing your comfort, your nice hot showers, and you hot-water to clean your dishes and clothing. How water is destroying the earth, dont’cha know?

Take the word of Allyson Chiu of the Washington Post. She knows better than you do, of course.

Just look at this nonsense:

You may not be giving a second thought to setting your washing machine on the hot cycle, cranking your showers to a steamy temperature or scrubbing your dirty dishes under a stream of scalding water.

If you did, you’d find that you probably don’t need to use so much hot water — and that you could be saving energy and cutting your utility bills. Water heating is responsible for more than 10 percent of both annual residential energy use and consumer utility costs, the biggest share after air conditioning and heating, according to the Energy Department. An American household uses an average of 64 gallons of hot water a day — close to the amount needed to fill an average bathtub — by doing laundry, showering, washing the dishes and running kitchen and bathroom faucets.

While there are home improvements that can help you cut back on the energy it takes to heat water, including installing a heat pump water heater, one easy solution is to switch to cold water.

Chiu goes on to scold us all for using hot water and tells us the steps we can take to stop being such evil stewards of the earf.

So, there you have it. You evil morons better stop using that hot water.

And eating beef… and driving cars… and owning homes… and drinking coffee… and well… doing anything that makes life worth living.

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