On February 14th, 1990 for Michael Bloomberg’s 48th birthday, staffers at Bloomberg L.P celebrated their boss’ most famous offensive quips and anecdotes by creating a pamphlet and presenting him with a leather-bound copy. Some of the quotes are anti-female, anti-faith, and someone who looks down upon people who aren’t like him. Called The Portable Bloomberg: The Wit and Wisdom of Michael Bloomberg, it was edited by Bloomberg L.P.’s chief marketing officer Elisabeth DeMarse. Some of the tidbits in the pamphlet include:
- The only liberal I trust is a rich old liberal. Why? Because they’re old enough to understand what they’re saying, and they’re rich enough to pay for what they say!
- If women wanted to be appreciated for their brains, they’d go to the library instead of to Bloomingdale’s.
- The three biggest lies are: The check’s in the mail, I’ll respect you in the morning, and I’m glad that I’m Jewish.
- If Jesus was a Jew, why does he have a Puerto Rican first name?
At the beginning of the book DeMarse wrote “Editor’s Note” that reads, “Yes, these are all actual quotes. No, nothing had been embellished or exaggerated. And yes, some things were too outrageous to include. When I joined BLOOMBERG Financial Markets, I wondered if I had inadvertently joined a religious sect, such was the dedication of the employees to its founder, and their enthusiasm for the company. Today, I’m a convert. And when we rent Madison Square Garden for mass nuptials, I’ll be there.”
Michael Wolff interviewed Ms. DeMarse in 2001 for New York Magazine:
“This is Bloomberg culture,” she said. “You have to understand, Mike is very uncensored.” After a second, she went on: “When Mike says outrageous things, it’s sort of a test. It’s a loyalty test. It’s a bonding thing when everyone laughs. You stop thinking that it might be inappropriate.”
“Is all of this a direct quote, Wolff asked, these are his actual words?”
Here are some more Bloombergisms:
- [Marriage] Sex with someone you love… is sex with someone you love. The plusses are you don’t have to buy dinner and the only thing you catch with callouses,” and “Whenever my wife catches me eyeing some broad, she’s very careful to turn to me and say, ‘That’s the most expensive piece of arse in the world!
- It [Bloomberg L.P[ will do everything, including give you a blow job. I guess that puts a lot of you girls out of business.
- I believe in the capitalist system and free enterprise. The only exception is 8th Avenue, where people pay for what they could get for free [hookers].
- There are three types of favorite restaurants: Where would you go if you had to eat there forever – I’d say ’21’. Then, where would you go for your last meal – Le Cygne. Then, there’s where you would take your wife for your last meal – McDonald’s
- Make the customer think he’s getting laid when he’s getting fu**ed.
- There are certain states you don’t go to
Michael Bloomberg’s recently revealed statements about stop and frisk, show him to be a racist, but his booklet, embedded below shows him to be an arrogant misogynist who doesn’t like liberalism or faith. Bloomberg is the new Democratic Party’s great “moderate” hope. In other words, they are in greater trouble than most commentators think.
The Portable Bloomberg by Jeffrey Dunetz on Scribd