In keeping with the “politics of change” as defined by the Democratic party President Barack “My Middle Name is Hussein Dammit” Obama announced two new picks to his administration, Bernie Madoff and former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich.

Madoff the disgraced Wall Street investor was named Secretary of Health and Human Services to replace former Senator Tom Daschle. When asked about the appointment, the President said that Madoff is the brand spanking new “only person” that could do the job. Obama said further that Bernie Madoff has been totally vetted and that he is sure that the financier has paid all of his taxes, furthermore “I can think of any better choice provide input on the future of Social Security than the man who ran the biggest private Ponzi scheme in the history of the world economy”

Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich will replace Nancy Kilferer as the United States Performance Officer a position described by the President as “identifying where there are areas that we can make big change that lasts beyond the economic recovery plan and save taxpayer money over the long term.”

In announcing the appointment of his old Illinois colleague, Obama said “Blago is a guy who knows how to get money from a variety of sources and in a variety of ways. I am sure that he will be able to raise funds for the economic stimulus plan. Along with that responsibility Blago will work to get more Senate votes for the President’s “dying” stimulus plan.”If anyone knows how to buy get votes its Blago” When asked about the former governor’s legal problems, the President said, “He has not been convicted of anything.”

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When asked about the appointments during the daily press briefing, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said, “I want to look forward, not to the past.”