Twice during the past week the SCHMOTUS, Vice President Joe Biden warned the country that if the “American Jobs Act” isn’t passed that there will probably be more rapes, burglaries and murders across the nation. Yesterday he added that those crimes are up and will continue to go up if the jobs bill is not passed.
Initially I thought his comments were simply nasty politics. You know, the kind that President Obama trashed when he called for a “new tone,”
Beyond that, his statements went against what the administration was saying on their on websites. According to the FBI, all kinds of crime including rape is down.
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These numbers came from the FBI, which is part of the Department of Justice, which is run by Eric Holder, and he would never lie. OK maybe with the exception of the New Black Panther case and Fast and Furious. He would almost never lie.
This morning, however something happened to change my mind. You see I was visiting my next door neighbor who just got out of the hospital. As I sat on his couch waiting watching for my friend to come down from his bedroom I watched the news about the death of Gadaffi. My friend’s dog, who is not very well trained came over to me and started trying to do that nasty thing with my leg that untrained dogs sometimes do. As I tried to shake the dog off my leg and watch the video of the Libyan tyrant being beaten, it occurred to me, numbers be dammed, maybe the SCHMOTUS is right! Gadaffi was killed and my neighbor’s mutt was at the very least sexually harassing my leg.
Upon arriving home, I scanned the internet to find more examples of crime increasing because those nasty people in congress are delaying Obama’s nearly perfect jobs bill. I found plenty!
For example, A woman who attended Occupy Cleveland last Saturday says she was raped by a man she shared a tent with. Now if the charge is proven to be legit, this is exactly what the SCHMOTUS was talking about. After all, rapes never happened last year at Tea Party protests, they only happened at protests started since the President proposed his Jobs bill.
I would like to make a public apology to the SHMOTUS, he is entirely correct, since President Obama received his jobs bill from the Lord God
him herself and announced it to his waiting flock, crime is way up. We should give him credit for exposing the occupy protests an corruption in the Obama administration. Now if he could only do something about my neighbor’s dog.