A few days ago I reported that The Malaysian car maker Proton has announced plans to develop an “Islamic car”, designed for Muslim motorists. (See Malaysia Producing Islamic Car)

Since that report, my cousin Binyamin, the only former spy in the family, has gone undercover to find some of the new features in this Islamobile and report back to us. This is what he has sent to me via secure top secret carrier pigeon. The Islamic Features Include:

  • Explosive seatbelt– perfect for Car Bombs.
  • Windshield fluid can be aimed to put out any candles lit for (non Muslim) religious purposes.
  • If you get a dent, the dealer is expected to destroy the car in an “honor wrecking”.
  • There is no owner’s manual. You are expected to read the Koran and the Hadiths, and deduce the proper maintenance procedures from there, because the Holy texts contain all that is truth.
  • You don’t need a license or registration. Instead, different agencies will issue “Driving Fatwas”, which may contradict each other.
  • The military version looks exactly like the civilian version. The “troop transport” seats 15 terrorists and is actually painted to resemble a UN ambulance.
  • Rear doors have woman-proof safety locks.
  • Satellite radio plays the hit song “Infidels are Pigs and Apes” 24 hours a day.
  • Exhaust may or may not meet emission standards. No one knows, because the gasses and WMD’s are always concealed from inspectors.
  • The cars must be parked facing Mecca. Any parking spots ever used by a Muslim car, even for a short time, are considered Muslim forever after, and must never be used by infidel vehicles.
  • Per US Secretary of State Condi Rice—even parking spots that the Islamo Car can see are considered Muslim forever whether or not a Muslim had ever had a true Claim to it.
  • If an infidel parks in a Muslim calaimed spot THEIR Car blows up, and the UN pases a resolution blaming the infidel.
  • Muslim cars claim to have won the Gran Prix every year- and they claim this is proved in the Koran.
  • There are no airbags. Instead, in case of collision, speakers on the car will announce “Allahu Akbar!” just before impact and “Its the Zionist’s fault AFTER impact”.
  • The windshield is replaced by mirrors because the Islamo-fascists prefer looking backwards rather than toward the front.

Cousin Binyamin tells me that the State Department is Planning to bring these cars to the United States. He tells me that Ms Rice, the Secretary of State has even requested one to drive her around Annapolis for the conference. It will have the conference logo painted on it “Jerusalem, Divided Forever !”