Ever since her parents outed her as white, Rachel Dolezal has been a subject of derision.  Even when she started explaining herself, telling interviewers that she has always seen herself as black, how she isn’t really sure her parents are her parents etc. people don’t believe her.

In my humble opinion we  should be leaving poor Rachel alone, but in the interests of being open with my readers, I must admit I have compassion for Ms  Dolezal. You see, I self-Identify as someone with hair. In fact I have always self-Identified as someone with hair.

It started when I was a child. I was the least favorite of three kids.  Things were so bad that when my mother nursed me, it was through falsies. People say I am obviously bald because my mother’s father was bald and that gene is transferred through the mother. Actually I am not really sure if she was really my mom. There has never been a DNA test and most of my family does not want to acknowledge that this politically conservative, observant Jew is actually a relative.

Growing up my older brother used to tell me that I wasn’t really his brother, that I came to the family when the Cops left me in a basket near the front door.  So who really knows if my real birth mother, the one who gave me to the cops, had a father with hair.  What’s really cool is the police found the perfect family for me because I look almost exactly like the woman who raised

take our poll - story continues below

Who would you vote for if the elections were held today?

  • Who would you vote for if the elections were held today?  

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Completing this poll grants you access to The Lid updates free of charge. You may opt out at anytime. You also agree to this site's Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.

Now I understand when you look at me and the picture above, you see a
guy with no hair but that is not how I see myself. I see the actor who
played Curly in a summer stock production of Oklahoma only 38 years
ago.  That was such a proud time in my life, not so much because I was paid to take the lead role, no the source of my pride was was that under that cowboy hat was the curly hair for the role.

So when you see new reports about Rachel Dolezal as she finishes up her 15 minutes of fame,  be kind.  Does it really matter that she lied and said she was black?  Who cares that she lied and claimed she got hate mail? Just because the letter had no time stamp and the post office said it had to be put in her P.O. box by someone who had a key.  Maybe someone had a duplicate key. And does it really matter that she may have taken positions and grants the government identified for the minority community. Uncle Sam has tons of cash. Just ask any liberal.

Bald people face prejudice also, remember the prophet Elisha in the second chapter of the second book of kings?

Elisha was in Bethel, and he was going up on the road and
some little boys came out of the city and jeered him, and said to him,
“Go away, baldy; go away, baldy!” And he turned around and saw them, and he
cursed them in the name of God. And two she-bears came out of the forest
and tore apart forty-two boys of them.

Now is that much different than when Ms Dolezal sued Howard University, a traditionally black school because she was being oppressed for being a Caucasian?  Granted she lost the lawsuit, but has anybody checked out the school recently?  Has there been a rash of bear attacks?

I refuse to start a lawsuit to stop the anti-Bald hate, so the only thing I can do is self-Identify as having a full head of hair.  No bald jokes please because when I touch the top of my head I feel long curly hair.