Prior to yesterday’s launch of a ballistic missile by North Korea, President Obama threatened severe consequences if the rogue country went ahead with their launch plans.

So far those severe consequences have been non-existent. But the president promised consequences, would this be another promise that Obama breaks?  I had to find out.  So I figured this may be another job for my Cousin Ben the spy (his mother wanted him to go to med school, but that is a story for a different day).

I asked Ben to sneak into the White House and find out what “consequences the president had in mind.  To get unrestricted access to the White House, Ben disguised himself as canvasser for ACORN, and it was there he was able to meet and question the president’s number one adviser (TOTUS).

I just just got off the phone with Cousin Ben the spy and he came back with the information (he also came back with a pair of Michelle Obama’s underwear– but I promise to talk to him about that). Below is the list of severe consequences for North Korea, which Cousin Ben brought back from 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

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President Obama’s Severe Consequences for North Korea

  • A nasty letter from Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. To make the punishment even more severe the letter will be placed in their permanent record.
  • The entire country of North Korea will be forced to go to bed without dinner. Wait most of them already do.
  • Fire Kim Jong-il. The president gets that power from the same place in the Constitution that allows him to fire the head of GM.
  •  No Nintendo for a week.
  • Force North Korea to take Tarp funds that it doesn’t need, and don’t allow them to return it.  That way he can control them anyway he wants, just like the banks.
  • Send Nancy Pelosi to visit North Korea for a month. If that doesn’t scare them straight, nothing will.
  • Take away their Congressional Earmarks.  Apparently John Murtha thinks that North Korea is part of his district.

Ben’s conact, Mr TOTUS did not say wheter these “consequenses” will be imposed all at once or wheter it will be some sort of “ramp up.” Either way it in nice to see the President finally show a back bone in dealing with rogue countries.  Iran must be quaking in its boots (with laughter).