The news reports are quite confusing. Some say Israel bombed the Syrian desert to destroy arms heading to Hezbollah…others say that they bombed the Syrian desert to send a message to Iran. I have done some of my own research and have found the real reason for the Israeli Air Force Action earlier this past month.
My research took me to Las Vegas where I interviewed OJ Simpson. I suspected that the bombing could have been part of the football Hall of Famer’s sting operation to retrieve his memorabilia or his search for the real killers. OJ denied any connection to the bombing so I went to search elsewhere.
I took my investigation to Washington DC to the offices of the Committee to Elect Hilary Clinton President. I thought there was the possibility that the Israeli Air force wasn’t dropping bombs, maybe it was dropping evidence, you know things like tapes of that phone call to Stan Lee that implicated her in one of her many campaign finance scandals. But before I entered the building I remembered how anti-Israel Hillary was before she ran for senator in a state where the Jewish vote mattered. Why would Israel do her a favor? Everyone knows once she broadens her constituency beyond NY she will once again be anti-Israel. Well wait not everyone..liberal Jews don’t know that. But the Democratic party knows they can do anything to the Jews and they will still vote Democratic.
At this point of my investigation, my cell phone rang. My wife called to make sure I would be home for dinner. “I made matzo ball soup, ” she said, “and they are real hard just the way you like it.” That’s when it hit me.
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I called the Prime Minister’s office to get confirmation and VUALLAH!! I got my answer. My inside source at the Prime Minister’s office gave me the scoop. “Sammy,” she said,”it had nothing to do with Iran, North Korea, or Hezbollah. You know that the Prime Minister does not like to protect Israel. It was all about Matzo Balls. The Prime Minister hates hard matzo balls and the cook at the Prime Minister’s residence screwed up and made them hard. Anybody who is a Matzo ball connoisseur understands the sensitivity about the density of the ball. With Rosh Hashana coming up the cook had to get rid of them fast. So he called a friend in the IAF to dump them for him. THAT is what was dumped in the Syrian desert hard Matzo balls. Understand that this had nothing to do with defending Israel. Olmert doesn’t get involved with that kind of stuff. If these Matzo balls landed on nuclear supplies it was purely accidental.”
There you have it– what happened in Syria had nothing to do with the defense.. because everyone knows if Olmert does anything to protect Israel…it is purely an accident.