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It’s been so crazy lately. So many people worldwide are claiming the Jewish people are so powerful and how we run the world.
  • Here in America, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Green said that California wildfires were ignited by a Jewish space laser controlled by a corporate cabal, including the Rothschild banking firm.
  • Chinese government media said that Israel is a U.S. military proxy that enjoys U.S. support because of the influence of wealthy Jews, Gee that’s a fine howdy-do when one considers where the Jews go to eat every Christmas.
  • British rapper Wiley has doubled down on his recent antisemitic comments, insisting, “I’m right. I’m right. The Jewish community do […] run the Earth.”
  • When trying to sell the Iran nuke deal, Former President Barack Obama said it was the Jews who pushed America into the Iraq war.
  • Member of the D.C. City Council,  Trayon White Sr., who is running to be the city’s mayor put a video on Facebook claiming the Rothschilds (meaning the Jews) controlled the weather. Upon receiving push-back, he changed his mind and apologized. But before he could be forgiven, he did it again. At a city council meeting, White claimed, “There’s this whole concept with the Rothschilds—control the World Bank, as we all know—infusing dollars into major cities. They really pretty much control the federal government, and now they have this concept called resilient cities in which they are using their money and influence into local cities.”

There are so many others who made similar statements, including Pat Buchanan, Ilhan Omar, Rashida Talib, Iran’s supreme leader (seen below with the other Supremes), just to name a few.

End Antisemitism

The Supreme Leader And The Rest Of The Group

 

Since I was eight days old, I have been officially Jewish and have always been very active in the Jewish community. I can promise you that the claims above and once like it are nuttier than a porta-potty at a peanut festival. The hatred spewing from Jew-haters has been filling my mailbox, Twitter, and Facebook feeds as long as I have been writing.

Even when I’ve explained to them the error of their ways, they still spill their putrid venom. Think of their stupidity.  If the Jews really controlled the banks, we would shut down their savings accounts and cash cards. If the Jewish lobby controlled Congress, as some haters claimed, we would have booted their arses out on the street a long time ago. And to be perfectly honest,  If Jews controlled the weather, we wouldn’t have to move to Miami when we retire.

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It’s impossible to convince these crazy train riders of the truth. We can’t get them to change their minds because they don’t have minds to change. Therefore I have a modest proposal. Let’s go with it. Why don’t we scare off the haters by telling them we do control the world? And they better be nice to us or we will use our power against them.

Not only tell the haters that we Jews do run the world. But also, we’ve been running things for a very long time, manipulating world events for our own needs. We can even tell them that many famous people throughout history were actually Jewish — part of the plot to perpetuate the myth and keep us in charge.

Scare Haters By Telling Them There IS A Space Laser

Scare Haters By Telling Them There IS A Space Laser

Everyone will believe that Martin Luther was a Jew! But that one was pretty obvious. After all, he is famous for quitting his church to form a new one. Ever talk to a Jew about where he prays? He will tell you about the Synagogue he goes to and the one he would rather die than set foot in.

George Washington?  Jewish, of course. James Monroe and Abe Lincoln also (take a look at their noses), So was John Adams (he was a short obnoxious guy whose real name was Ruby).

Napoleon was a Jew — remember how he wanted to reconvene the historic Jewish court, the Sanhedrin. The French Emperor had this nervous habit of playing with the Star of David hanging on a chain around his neck. The guy would look ridiculous, always sticking his hand in his shirt to play with the star. That’s not far out. Just look at all the drawings of the emperor.

It will be easy to convince people that the Pope and all the Catholic Cardinals—-are members of the Tribe! You ever notice what they wear on their heads? Red Yarmulkes!

Morning Minyan At The Vatican

Let’s give them the news that Alexander Graham Bell was a closet Jew.  He invented the telephone because he wanted to call his mother a few times a day.

For those haters wondering about the media, our answer should be, yep, it’s Jewish controlled. A guy named Lenny (a Levite). Lenny lives in Cleveland with his wife and two kids. He inherited the media-control job from his father, Mel. In 1942 Mel was able to convince New York Times and other western newspapers to bury coverage of the Holocaust in the back of the paper. That’s the real reason they downplayed it.

We should warn them if they aren’t friendly to us, we’ll make up lousy media stories about them. We can show them how the real media treated Donald Trump when he was president. That will scare them.  If they don’t believe the Jews control the media, let’s tell them Lenny is the best news director we’ve had for centuries. And It was Lenny who came up with the brainstorm that the news should slant their coverage against Israel and ignore Antisemitism.  He figured that if reporters give the impression that Jewish blood is cheap, no one will figure out that we were actually strong and running things. Lenny won a UJA (Underground Jewish Action) award. His achievement was the idea that the media should not use the word “terrorist” whenever an Israeli Jew was killed.

As for terrorism…we don’t do that, not even the Mossad.  We can’t take credit for that. Jews do not promote or allow killing others–the terrorists do that independently.

The banks? No one really believes that silly thing about Jewish bankers in New York controlling all the money— that’s stupid. But we should tell the haters That they’re all Jewish, but they come from Lithuania, not New York. We run the world’s monetary system from the E.U. central office. How about creating a man who runs the banks named Harvey Cohn (a Kohen)and Harvey runs a tight ship.

Our fake story can continue that Harvey agrees it’s time to let the cat out of the bag. But first, there was one thing he would like to do first. We can convince the nut-jobs that Harvey says much of the world’s”s antisemitism is part of the plot to perpetuate the myth that we do not run the world. And that Havey even has Louis Farrakhan on the payroll. After we convince them about Farrakhan, we need to ask them not to tell anyone… It’s bad for his image and will upset the CBC. They will be convinced and be front-page news in five minutes.

End Antisemitism

You know that famous picture of Bigfoot walking through the forest? Let’s disappoint the hatemongers. We should assure them it was a Jew in a costume. He was on the way to the international convention of the Worldwide Jewish Conspiracy (WWJC) and put on an Ape costume so people wouldn’t know about the convention.

If they ask, persuade the vile haters that there is only one country whose leaders aren’t involved in the scam. The French government really does hate the Jews.

Here’s one that will really shock the anti-Semites. We should enlighten them that Barack Obama is actually Jewish. He converted 20 years ago because it was the only way to let him run for president). I will inform them I attended his bris. My wife even made a cheesecake. We need to convince the haters we explained to Obama that he had to pick a Jew like Rahm Emanuel as Chief of Staff and that Obama’s anti-Semitic policies were al Harvey’s brainchild, With the over-the-top hatred of Jews he displayed as president, no one will ever believe that he is really Jewish.

We can sit them down and explain to the bigots Pat Buchanan and Barack Obama were right about Iraq— our idea. But it has nothing to do with Israel and everything to with chickpeas. Make them believe that chickpeas is the one thing Jews don’t control but that is going to change very, very soon.

I think the most fun project we can have is about Iranian missile technology,. Just like we did with Stuxnet, we should put a flaw in the system that will inform their leadership from the supreme lead on down, that they are a bunch of tools…Zionist tools. The credit that idea goes to former Secretary of State Hillary (her real name is Hadassah) Clinton. Don’t believe me? Why do you think her daughter married a Jew?

If this works it would lift a terrible burden from our Jewish shoulders. No more wasting our time trying to convince the haters that they should be surprised by their own stupidity.

But there is a downside. What if they don’t believe us? What the people wired to hate us won’t get frightened because they start to believe the truth? They start to believe we have little control over world events? What if they were to think that the Jews are ancient people who survived only through their love of God and his Torah? What if people were to look at us, not as world dominators but as the teachers of how to love God and each other? After all, Christianity and Islam grew out of the Jewish faith.

What am I saying? Teaching people to love God and each other? That is what’s meant by the chosen people but no one would ever believe that!

 

 

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