United States Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has announced a breakthrough solution for the war between Israel and her neighbors, a ban on Israeli Jews having Sex, Muslims would still be allowed to “be fruitful and multiply” but not Jews. In announcing her plan Rice said:

“I am very concerned that at a time when we need to build confidence between the parties, the continued building and the settlement activity has the potential to harm the negotiations going forward”

What Rice was talking about is Israel’s announcement of an expansion of EXISTING communities in Jerusalem. She has been frustrated by Israel’s construction of new housing units in the Jewish towns in Israel’s capitol. When she confronted the Israeli Government, they pointed out to her that Israel has NEVER agreed to a secession of building in existing settlements. Even in those hated Oslo accord, Israeli settlements were deliberately excluded from the Accords and left to be decided.

When Olmert mentioned to Condi that the new housing units were necessary to house all of the young growing families that have moved into the holy city, that’s when the Secretary of State had her eureka moment, “Thats it! She said, with that, she ran from the room and spoke to the press.

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“it is the position of the United States of America, that the Expansion of existing settlements, is holding back the peace process, therefore, we are calling on Israeli Jews to refrain from sexual activity till after final boarders are negotiated. This is not a step that we take lightly, but because Israel insists on building apartments in its OWN capitol, and there are no existing agreements to stop them we have no other choice, Thank you”

And with that Ms. Rice boarded her flying broom, and sped off to find another terrorist organization to appease.