The election is less than six months away but the mainstream media is already in rare form in their push to get Barack Obama a second term in the oval office.  This time they went almost 50 years into the past when Mitt Romney was in High School.

What horrible thing did Romney do as a high school student? Did he kill someone? Push Grandma off the cliff? I know he was a serial rapist? No none of that, what the Obama campaign leak out via Washington Post columnist Jason Horowitz? Are you sitting down? Mitt Romney bullied a kid in High School. He led a group of kids who held the boy down and cut him…well cut his hair.  And even worse five years later the boy whose hair was cut came out as gay, so obviously Mitt Romney is Homophobic.

But there’s more Mitt Romney was a wise ass in High School, he made fun of his teachers. OH MY GOD! How can the GOP have such a man as their candidate for president?

If you have a weak heart don’t read this. When Romney was in High School he taunted a Muslim student by putting pictures of then Israeli Prime Minister David Ben Gurion in the Hall.

Yes America Mitt Romney was a smart-assed prankster in high school who bullied a kid and pranked a teacher, the technical term for that is immature teenager.

This is what is news to Jason Horowitz and the Washington Post. The economy is going to hell in a hand-basket, Egypt is becoming an Islamist state, illegal immigrants a pouring over the boarder, we are discovering that every promise about Obamacare was a lie, gas prices are near all time highs and have only retreated because the lousy economy is killing demand, the man in charge of law and order-Attorney General Eric Holder is covering up his department’s involvement in fast and furious, refuses to prosecute criminals for voter intimidation because they are black, but sues American states and sheriffs for following federal law, etc., etc, etc-instead of investigating any of those stories and more, the Washington Post has decided to publish a story about Mitt Romney being…well being an immature kid.

To free-up Mr Horowitz’s time, so he can work on real stories instead of simply writing what David Axelrod tells him to write, I offer below some other scandalous Mitt Romney stories.

  • When he was six-months-old, the GOP candidate pooped in his diaper.
  • At age five Romney threw a tantrum in the supermarket because his mom wouldn’t buy him the cereal brand he wanted. 
  • When he was ten, Romney defaced his bedroom wall, he wrote his name in crayon. As if to foreshadow his wild personality as an adult, the color he chose to mark the wall was Razzmatazz.

Even in recent years Romney has done awful things.

  • Remember that song “who let the dogs out?”–Mitt did!
  • Mitt Romney wrote the Happy Days episode airing on September 20, 1977, where the Fonz Jumped the Shark.
  • Romney told the Colts to release Payton Manning.
  • Mitt does Debbie Wassarman Shultz’s hair, and Nancy Pelosi’s Lips
  • Do you know who introduced John Edwards to Rielle Hunter?
  •  It was Romney who invented the battery systems that makes the Chevy Volt blow up.
  • MSNBC’s Ed Shultz is really Mitt Romney’s Bastard Love Child
  • Romney convinced Eric Holder that it would be a great idea to give some guns to the Mexican Drug cartels.
  •  For Star Wars fans, it was Mitt Romney who pressed the button to blow up the Planet Alderaan and he suggested to George Lucas the Character Jar Jar Binks.

There you go Washington Post and Jason Horowitz, more scandals you can publish, so now you can get off your arse and track down real news.