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06.08.20.DisproportionII-X.gifFrench President Jacques “The rat” Chirac announced today that he will not seek a third term. His reason for not running is his popularity in France is only slightly higher than bird flu. As reported by the associated press:In a televised address, Chirac said he would find new ways to serve his country after leaving office: “Serving France, and serving peace [sammy note: he left out screwing Israel], is what I have committed my whole life to.”….Protected by presidential immunity, Chirac always avoided corruption investigations that brought down others in his entourage. Former aide Jean-Francois Probst described Chirac as “a charming liar.” Back in civilian life, Chirac risks being targeted by investigating judges. For some critics, Chirac’s greatest failure was his lack of bold change and leadership for a country struggling to maintain its place in an increasingly competitive, globalized world. Instead, Chirac sometimes seemed determined to upset as few people as possible, charting a middle course of timid reform and backing down in the face of street protests.So I was wondering what the man who directed France into its worst Anti-Semitic period since WWII, the guy who left no terrorist unappeased could do for an encore. I have some suggestions (below) but I would love to hear yours.

Sammy’s Suggestions for Chirac’s Next Job:

  • Become an editor for the Daily Kos: He would love this it combines his two great passions, hatred of George Bush and Hatred of Jews.
  • Selling Jimmy Carter’s book door to door in France: See above PLUS it would be very profitable, the French LOVE Carter’s book (not to be confused with the Germans loving David Hasslehoff.
  • “Ladies and Gentleman, Jacque Chriac Star of the New Movie Borat II” He could just be himself–wouldn’t even have to learn to act.
  • Become a greeter at Wal-Mart in Paris. But wait– at 74 years old he may be a bit young.
  • Work as a Gaza missile launcher: Killing Israeli’s and working with Abu Mazen will make him feel young again.
  • Become an exterminator: Who better to help people to find and rid themselves of rats–It takes one to know one.

Anybody have other Ideas…Please let me know and I will add to the list

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