It has been well documented that James Baker’s Iraq Study Group Report was skewed by its leader’s hate of Israel. Another issue with the report was its length. Lets face it, the tome that Baker presented to the President was just too damn long. It goes on and on: Israel caused this…when this happened, Israel did it…These people hate us because of the Jews…Baker’s ISG report is just overkill. The audience of this report is high government officials, they need a “bottom line” recommendation. Of course when you have a group that meets for as long as Baker’s you need a long report to justify the length of time it took to prepare.
Along with some of my buddies, we decided to create a study group to help Israel with her problem…an incompetent Prime minster. So today we had our first and only meeting of the blue ribbon panel of the Israel Study Group. We met during the Oneg Shabbat in Shul this afternoon. We sat around the little round table where Norm hands out the whiskey. This blue ribbon panel included Norm, Lenny and me. The ground rules where that any solution we came up with couldn’t be complected because I had to remember it till after Shabbos when it could be written down.
Norm chaired the meeting because he is an attorney (and because he was distributing the whiskey). “Excuse me” he said, “I would like to interject one more rule. This meeting must be over in five minutes, that gives me time to have a plate full of herring and still get home in time for a nice long Shabbos nap”
“That’s it Norm……YOU ARE A GENIUS !!” I said.
Norm looked confused. “What are you talking about? I have herring and a nap every Shabbos.” “Norm that is our solution” I answered “We all do it, but now we have to get Olmert to do it. We need Olmert to spend each and every Shabbos in Shul, go to the oneg, have a shot of whiskey, a plate of Herring and go home for an all day nap….at least until the next election when he will be gone totally”
Norm questioned me in his best lawyer fashion. ” You think that going to Shul and keeping the Sabbath will give the guys some seichel ?” he asked. “Hell no ! ” I said, “I think keeping Olmert in Shul for a morning, giving him whiskey and herring and making him sleep the rest of the day keeps him away from the seat of government. It creates one day were he can’t screw up”
And there you go. It is the recommendation of the Blue Label Panel’s Israeli Safety Group report that if Echud Olmert became Shabbos observant would be at least a 1/7th improvement in the way Olmert is leading the county ,thats over 14%!. Because for one day he wouldn’t be on the phones, talk to the press with cameras, or tell the IDF that they are not allowed to protect the population form any Kassam missiles.
You don’t think it will help? Just take a look at some of the things the tower of Jello said today:
Olmert says open to international force in Gaza Associated Press Published: 12.09.06,
Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said Friday he was ready to discuss Italy’s proposal to send international troops to Gaza when he travels to Rome next week for a meeting with the Italian premier. Italy has floated the idea several times since this summer, and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas has long called for an international presence in the West Bank and Gaza. Israel, however, has opposed the idea. Olmert said in an interview ro Italy’s RAI Tg1 television news that he is on friendly terms with Premier Romano Prodi and would listen to what he has to say. “If Italy is prepared that its army will be engaged on a daily basis against terrorist actions of Hamas, the Islamic Jihad and the other terrorist organizations operating in Gaza, this is very interesting news. I want to learn it,” Olmert said, speaking in English
. Everybody knows that an international force would be a HUGE mistake. In the history of the county there hasn’t been one international force that hasn’t lead to Israeli deaths (see UNIFIL). Don’t you see it now? If Ehud was having a few L’chaims with Norm, Lenny, and me he couldn’t have done that little interview.
Some people may argue that it isn’t right for Israel’s leader to have a couple of shots of whiskey on a Shabbos afternoon…it may make him say irrational things. To those people I say, just read this report from Debka:
DEBKAfile’s,sources report: Olmert remains oblivious to the new reality in Washington, where the powers that be have already come to terms with the prospect of a nuclear Iran.The same can be said about the Golan Heights.“I don’t know what [President George W. Bush] will decide regarding the Iraq Study Group report [which recommends giving the Golan to Syria],” Olmert said. “What I heard from the president is that there is no possibility of negotiations – not American-Syrian and not Israeli-Syrian.”DEBKAfile’s sources say Olmert does not understand that Bush is no longer in charge of Washington’s policy regarding Iran and Syria – Jim Baker and Robert Gates are.
They called him oblivious—–and that’s without a little whiskey and a nap! The problem isn’t sobriety…the problem is he is still in office.
The Rabbi’s tell us that G-d always gives us the solution before he creates the problem. For Israel’s problem–an incompetent Prime Minster, part of the solution is Shabbos, something that has been around since creation. Only Shabbos will keep the leaning tower of Jello, Ehud Olmert, away from the seat of government for one day each week.And I suspect we can even get Dov Hikind to pay for the herring. Once we get Olmert in shul,ball we have to do to save Israel, is to convince Olmert that every day is Shabbos, if we could achieve that Israel, and the rest of the world would be so much better.
Shavuah Tov. Only six days till next Shabbos.