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Boy oh Boy Do I feel important.  Just  a few minutes ago my mailbox chime signaled the arrival of an urgent letter from the President.  Yes THAT President, Barack Obama. Here’s what it said.

Friend —

I will be the first president in modern history to be outspent in his re-election campaign, if things continue as they have so far.

I’m not just talking about the super PACs and anonymous outside groups — I’m talking about the Romney campaign itself. Those outside groups just add even more to the underlying problem.

The Romney campaign raises more than we do, and the math isn’t hard to understand: Through the primaries, we raised almost three-quarters of our money from donors giving less than $1,000, while Mitt Romney’s campaign raised more than three-quarters of its money from individuals giving $1,000 or more.

And, again, that’s not including the massive outside spending by super PACs and front groups funneling up to an additional billion dollars into ads trashing me, you, and everything we believe in.

We can be outspent and still win — but we can’t be outspent 10 to 1 and still win.

More than 2.2 million Americans have already chipped in for us, and I’m so grateful for it. As we face this week’s fundraising deadline, can you make a donation of $3 or more today?

Every donation you make today automatically enters you to join Michelle and me for one of the last grassroots dinners of this campaign — today is your last chance to get your name in.

These dinners represent how we do things differently. My opponent spent this past weekend at a secretive retreat for the biggest donors to both his campaign and the super PACs that support him.

I’ve got other responsibilities I’m attending to.

Donate today to stand for our kind of politics:

https://donate.barackobama.com/June-Deadline

Thank you,

Barack

Friend? What a Mench! After all I have said about him for the past 4+ years ( all of it true) the President of the United States still calls me friend. And do you notice how he signed it? Barack–Not President Obama, but a simple friendly Barack. What a guy! And while I have no intention of sending him money, such a friendly-type letter deserves a friendly-type response. So this is what I answered:

Dear Barack,

I would normally address you as Mr. President to honor the high office you hold, but since your letter had such a friendly tone I thought that you deserved a response emitting the same friendliness.

Thank you so much for your nice letter, Although I believe it to be a bit hyperbolic. How could Mitt Romney ever hope to outspend you. In the first 3 and half years of your administration you spend more than the first 42 president’s combined. You also beat the former record holder George W. Bush. What’s really incredible is that in less than 42 months you spend more than Bush did in 96 months. When it comes to spending Barack, my friend you are in a league of your own.

Its easy to understand why your fundraising is way down. You took over the worst economy since Jimmy Carter’s stagflation years and made it worse. Granted that took some degree of skill but it was not quite the skill that most people are looking for in a president.

On the other hand you did give the order to kill Osama Bin Laden, something you deserve credit for…but you bring it up more often than Joe Biden makes another gaffe, which is quite often.  Not that I am criticizing–just making a friendly point since you did address me as your friend.

Speaking of addressing me, now that we are friends why did you let your political allies call me and my tea party friends so many names; racist, extremists, etc. I was even called an anti-Semite by Media Matters.  What gives? That certainly wasn’t very friendly.

Anyway as far as giving you money, I am sorry but that is out of the questions.  You see I spent the first three years of your administration out of work. I did find a job but I am making less than half of what I made during the previous administration. So I am a bit low in cash especially with Taxageddon just around the corner. 

While you screwed up the economy, tried to take away my personal liberties and made us look foolish overseas, I wish you no ill will. In fact I pray every day that come January 2013 you have all the time in the world to serve this country as a member of the PGA tour.

Your Friend,

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